Lately, the idea of leaving for 2 years hits me at the strangest times. Whenever I see someone, I wonder if this will be the last time I see them for 2 years.
My mundane activites are no exception to this feeling. I was excited the other day when I noticed that the new season of Louie starts in June. Suddenly, it hit me. Everything, even a television show, is an investment that I am unable to commit to. It's a sign that my life as of now is temporary. (As an aside, will someone keep me updated on Louie while I'm away?) I should mention that, more importantly, I'd like to know about any weddings, babies, grad school acceptances, college football news (unless its bad news... go canes!), world news (anything after June 6th will be relevant, I promise), etc.
As part of the leaving process, I've realized how integral the idea of permanence is to the human condition. Our established routines, modes des vies, customs, daily activities, relationships, and environments come to define us. In many ways, this stability brings us some of life's greatest joys. However, like any concrete definition, it also limits us in many ways. Only when we break this cycle of permanence and routine are we able to redefine ourselves, reconnect with others, appreciate, learn, experience, and truly live. Moreover, it is only by abandoning this permanence that we learn to rely on our own inner permanence which is unaffected by external factors; an inner peace which serves to instill calm even in the most tense situations.
I've been inspired by this Mark Twain quote that was in a 21st birthday card from my aunt:
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the tradewinds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
I think this quote was actually written for me since I'm from the safest harbor there is, the Safety Harbor.
Luckily, I've been too busy this last semester to let that the fact that I'm leaving for 2 years in a little over a month really sink in. I've been putting in time at the Rat which will be destroyed this summer (devastating), finalizing my law school plans, and finishing up classes (go figure).
I've made a few big purchases (my favorite being a Bug Hut which will allow me to sleep outside under the stars!), but my overall packing philosophy has been to take it easy. I'm feeling really comfortable with my French as of late (thank you Dr. Allen!) and have started studying some Moore, one of the local languages I'm likely to need. I forgot how much I love learning new languages! One of the best words I've learned in Moore is how to say "swagger". Now I just need to learn the verb for "to invent" and I'll have some great Burkinabe UM t-shirts for everyone ;)
In closing, leaving is both serious and lighthearted at the same time. While there is something fresh and liberating about leaving everything behind and boarding a plane with only a duffel bag and a backpack to start a new life, there is also something very final and absolute about it. Either way, whether I'm ready or not, in 1 month I will be boarding a plane to Africa. Leaving. I like the way that sounds...
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